Truly, the age of Skynet is almost here. I for one welcome our robot overlords.


With hair like a lion's mane,
To shave a beard would be insane,
A symbol of ruggedness and might,
Its hard not to love this sight.

Beards can be soft or bristly,
Trimmed or wild and frizzly,
With a beard one commands respect,
And their presence, one can't neglect.

From lumberjacks to poets,
A beard suits all who show it,
It adds a touch of mystery,
And makes the face less blistery.

Beards keep a face warm,
In winter's fiercest storm,
And in summer, they can shield,
The sun's death rays from far afield.

In short, beards are awesome,
They make a man, and make him fearsome,
So let's raise a toast to these hairy fellows,
For with beards like theirs, our hearts are jell-o.

 

Back in 2013 we raised an alarm of possible beardorrism, and call-out culture being what it is, everyone immediately capitulated. Our justice war was as social as it was swift: 4 years later Adam Evans still has a beard. Also he made a film.

Yea, with perseverence brung from a long beard, a short film did rise. Through the power of virtually zero cost virtue signaling™, sweetbeard even made it into the credits. Perhaps you did too? The only way to find out is to stream it on Amazon Prime Video now. Yes, that Prime Video. The one that you already have. That's right, Jack: no money needs to even change hands in this transaction. Watch it because you support the arts, need to observe human behavior more closely, or simply enjoy moving picture shows. But most of all do it because if you don't, you're a beardorrist. #StubbleJusticeNow! 

PROOF OF BEARD