In the world of competitive sports, or indeed any endeavor - every edge counts. From intense training to strategic thinking, we all seek ways to gain an advantage over rivals. But there is one secret weapon that has been overlooked by many - growing a beard for the love of Taylor Swift.

It might sound complicated, but the secret is to break this project down into manageable steps:

1. Grow a beard
2. Start dating pop celebrity Taylor Swift
3. Experience performance gains

Truly, the age of Skynet is almost here. I for one welcome our robot overlords.


With hair like a lion's mane,
To shave a beard would be insane,
A symbol of ruggedness and might,
Its hard not to love this sight.

Beards can be soft or bristly,
Trimmed or wild and frizzly,
With a beard one commands respect,
And their presence, one can't neglect.

From lumberjacks to poets,
A beard suits all who show it,
It adds a touch of mystery,
And makes the face less blistery.

Beards keep a face warm,
In winter's fiercest storm,
And in summer, they can shield,
The sun's death rays from far afield.

In short, beards are awesome,
They make a man, and make him fearsome,
So let's raise a toast to these hairy fellows,
For with beards like theirs, our hearts are jell-o.