The final results of the 2016 US general election are in, and it's safe to say: everyone should be disappointed. Yet again we have a shaven president elect. That's right. In a disappointing and frankly shocking shift of the fickle electoral tides, Joe Exotic did not win the popular or electoral vote and will not therefore be our nation's 45th president. So get cracking, people. We have but four years to bring back the beard.
Once upon a time the sweet beard practicioners at sweetbeard.com were annoyed by a certain popular shaving website and created DollarBeardClub. Alas the marketing department which produced this gem of an advertisement won't be winning a CLIO any time soon. As such, we let the domain go, and couldn't be happier that we did, because lo, the interwebs sprang forth with this:
I'm not really certain what this "Star Wars" branding is all about, since clearly the only real Star Wars movies were made between 1977 and 1983. That is Mark Hamill however, as his son Nathan's traveling Lavabear proves.
Rumor has it that the beard was mandatory for the new film. George Lucas incontrovertably understood the benefit of a sweet beard, so why then did it take Disney to bring beards to the party? Furthermore, considering the multitude of unnecessary digital alterations made to the canonical feature films, why wasn't a beard added to all Jedi as a simple matter of course?
*Image credit Nathan Hamill